I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize