Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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