just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
