Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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