Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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