no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
nutella sex= disaster
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
