The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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