Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
