Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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