your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
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