When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
