and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize