Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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