Me too!
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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