he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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