whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
