She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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