I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
