It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
