Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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