Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
