You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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