if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I lost the right to judge tonight
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
