yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
She announced her abortion via fbk
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
