Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
