p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
