Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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