I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
