Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
