Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
