Yo dont text me then not text me
we made out on top of his cat.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize