I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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