You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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