all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
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