I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
