then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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