Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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