you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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