How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
