Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
