Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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