are you still at the devil's house?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
