My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
