I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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