I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
