allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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