Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
