uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
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