She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
