I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
