She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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