Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
