how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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