i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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