I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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