when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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