he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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