i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize
