Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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